


The Epithalamium of Arimatha

by Dinmenel (PurvofPulchritude)



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Academic Writing, Ageing, Angst, Anthropology, April Showers 2015, Archeological Discovery, Artificial Wombs, Atheism, Aurbis, Avanchnzel, Betrayal, Blackreach, Brief Character Account of Rape, Bthardamz, Character Death, Chimer Mention, Complicated Words, Correspondence, Deep-Holds, Disappearance of the Dwemer, Dumac Dwarf-King Mention, Dwarves, Dwemer - Freeform, Dwemer Engineering, Dwemer Magick, Dwemer POV, Dwemeri Erotic Metaphors, Elaborate Metaphors for Sex, Elder Scrolls Lore, Elves, Engagement, Everyday Life, Existential Crises, Fal Zhardum Din, Fantasy Religion, Female Dwemer, Female POV, Heartbreak, Historical Discovery, History, Ingame book, Journal Entries, Kagrenac Mention, Kemel-Ze, Letters, Long Lifespans, Made up words, Magick Crafting, Marriage, Merethic Era, Morrowind, Motherhood, Mundus - Freeform, Mzark, Nchuand-Zel, Nirn, No Dialogue, Non-reality of Reality, Nonexistence, Pregnancy, Racist Attitudes, Radac, Radac's Forge, Rkund, Scholarly Research, Sigil Engineering, Story Told Over an Entire Lifetime, Technical Jargon, The Universe is a Dream, Tonal Architecture, War, War of the First Council, Worldbuilding, consciousness, first era, journal format, long words, mer, non-explicit sexual situations, reference to slavery, the Nature of Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:57:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3674847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurvofPulchritude/pseuds/Dinmenel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The personal account of Arimatha Kthumach, a Dwemer scientist, engineer, and mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Cypress for telling me how to tag this. :)

**_Professor Taoiseach_ **

**_University of Gwylim_ **

 

_Dearest Taoiseach,_

_My most profound apologies for the abruptness and length of pause in my correspondence; I was called urgently away from our debate on a matter of great academic importance. My field work in the Dwemer ruin of Rkund, which is south of Riften if you are not familiar, has unturned a find of some importance. Some months ago, my workers excavated the remains of what we believe to have been the facility's primary meeting hall. Unfortunately, extensive Falmeri presence necessitated suspension of further efforts (although it does indicate that extensive segments of the city survived the mountain's collapse), but the diggers were able to extract several unique items before being forced to seal off the excavation. Chief among these items were a series of personal Dwemeri notebooks of a type hitherto unknown to modern archaeology._

_Since our last meeting, the restoration and translation of these notebooks has been my occupation; a most timely occurrence, for if you will recall you had only just challenged me to find an example of Dwemeri society and personal life. I must not claim all the credit, however; my colleague Aranur in the Orrery at Firsthold has been instrumental in the dating of the text's entries. The Dwemer employed an absolute system of reckoning based on the confluence of astronomical conditions. Employment of the orrery (after calibration past the un-times of the Marukhati according to the ancient records) has allowed me to approximate a conversion of the Dwemeri dates given herein to our Imperial reckoning. Likewise, I should not have been able to complete the translation at all without your insights into the Dwemer language._

_The enclosed document is what was known as an epithalamium. Epithalamia were a matrimonial practice of the Aldmeri (early Merethic period). In Dwemer society, a child past a certain age was expected to maintain a notebook written expressly for the purpose of being read by the child's future spouse or civic partner. These notebooks, or epithalamia, recorded everything a Dwemer wished their spouse to know about their lives, and were also used for a sort of 'social science;' that is, to record the status of an individual's relationships and to elucidate solutions to interpersonal problems. On the eve of a Dwemer's wedding, an abstract of the entire epithalamium was written and placed at the beginning of the document, after which the entire notebook (or set of notebooks, as you will see) was presented to the Dwemer's spouse in exchange for the spouse's own notes. As you will no doubt see, these documents were considered sublimely private, to be read only by one's spouse, and unpermitted perusal was a serious offence._

_We do not possess, unfortunately, the entire set of this particular Dwemer's epithalamium, but I have translated the first notebook and provided both translation and a copy of the original for your perusal. Translations of the rest of the notebooks are still in progress; you will receive them shortly. Until then, enjoy the first entries of the Epithalamium of Arimatha._

_I hope all is well in Gwylim, and that you are as safe and cozy as you have ever been._

_All my love,_

_Dinmenel_

_Intrepid Investigator_

_School of Thoughts and Calculations_

_Alinor_

 

* * *

 

 

**ABSTRACT**

 

Goodbye, Unknown.

Thendr blazes against the black; 17th degree, 33rd azimuth. Mhara weeps across the waves; 0th degree, 2nd azimuth. Nirn inflects negatives beneath me, and Magnus inverts dilation. I look out from the ports of Vogram, from Vogram the port of all your unknown conception, and I write a goodbye you will never read. This is the night we wed, Unknown. This is the night I end. 1E 700

For most of my endurance, I thought that this abstract would be a joyous thing. I thought that I would write it in the relief of the openness for which we always longed. Instead I am unsure even to whom I write. But no, no; nothing is the only necessity. I write to the Unknown, as I have done all my life.

As I will now. Soon I will be unconscious to absence. But for these few minutes, an abstract duration, I will continue to stare into the void beneath the skin of all existence. I will continue to stare into you, for these few minutes. And although that is all I have ever done, I admit that I have not always done so fully. To refuse this acknowledgement is to ignore absence. I read now my own words and think what an ignorant fool I was, in my ommissions and obfuscations, my ridiculous fear of being known and then my burning passion for that very thing. Both were absurd; it is not possible. There is only nothing to know.

But now - now I go different. Now my hypnopompic bones are folded beneath the earth and my drowned wombs seed subconsciousness. Now I disrobe of disidentity and open to you; now I sheathe myself in the sigil I drew across the stars that I may see you for your edge and forget your aching emptiness. Now I begin the experiment I planned upon the Pneumatect's hypnagogia.

I have never been as dissatisfied as I am in this moment; I have never been as real as I am in this moment. My goal is yours, though you do not observe it, as it is the goal of all but the weeping earth. Only the acolytes of the tangled tower take consolation in the presence of absence; all else seek the death of dissatisfaction. I go now into perfect Satisfaction, which is fundamental death, and I go purposed to determine the stability of that erasure. I become unconscious of absence that I might be waked.

Tomorrow the incompatible will be combined. I have seen it. I will not see it. I leave this as the last subseries of my dissatisfaction. When the streams of our cognizance short on the unconsciousness of amnesia, this will persist, sole remnant of our wedding.

But you will never know me, Unknown. There is nothing to know. The epithalamia were never more than delusory chimes of comfort. Thus is this absence applicable. I will never read your epithalamium, Unknown. All that you have given me is your absence.

Goodbye, Unknown.

Khurakhem Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from Jhunal's seventh degree (33rd azimuth), Akhat's thirteenth degree (729th azimuth), and Mhara's initial degree(0th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at three quarters median and Magnus is 94% dilated. My name is Arimatha, of the family Kthumach, clan Khurakhem. You know that already of course, but I am not used to keeping this sort of notebook or to writing to someone I have not yet met. This introduction is a tool for my own acclimation. Thus, hello to you, Unknown. ME1750

The Mother Zhemeara explained that this notebook is for record of the status of my social relationships and the repair of any malfunctions that might occur in those, but also to allow you, Unknown, to understand me. Therefore I cannot take notes here as I normally would; the function of this document is largely communicative, and must be created with that foremost in mind. This means that I will have to use more words, but the Mother says that this will allow my understanding of the social mechanisms surrounding me to mature and will help me to correct their malfunctions.

Obviously, effectiveness requires that I establish myself in your mind, Unknown. Therefore read this: as I wrote, I am of the family Kthumach, of clan Khurakhem. I live in the Free-Hold Rkund, which is a 7/12 composition, and have endured ten years. My Mother is Zhemeara Bthungmaz, and my father is Rethuch Kthumach. They are our hold's lead agricultural engineers. I study plant physiology, phytospirituality, hydrodynamics, pathological biology, mythical mineralogy, soil aetheria, and mathematics by the Mother Zhemeara, contained production structures, agricultural engineering, automated environmental techniques and conventions, and transtemporal history by the Father Rethuch, linguistics, psychosomatics, aetherial arcana, cosmological phenomena, and astral techniques by the Wife of my Father's 2nd Brother, the Uncle Inkungngk Kthumach, who is first deputy of the farm automata. The Aunt Ereatha, of the Amkhengz Clan-Hold Nchuand-Zel, is our Cosmological Influentionist.

I am scheduled to leave for my first fosterage 52 days from this morning. I will apprentice with the family Mulzenketh of clan Khurakhem in the Deep-Hold FalZhardum Din.

My favorite beer is Amschend Kriek and my favorite machine is the sigil stamp. My favorite subjects are mythical mineralogy and sigil engineering, but I only have a Juvenile General subscription for that. My favorite number is 0. That is an introduction and now I have to fertilize the fungus fields, so I will get used to the idea of you more at a later date.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 16th degree of Kynrt (956th azimuth) and 94th degree of Jhunal (432nd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at nine eighths median and Magnus is 76% dilated. ME1750

Thirty-four days ago I arrived in the 3/8 of Deep-Hold FalZhardum Din and began my fosterage with the family Mulzenketh. The Mulzenketh are the hold's pathological biologists and list sixteen members. My studies here are more rigorous but otherwise identical to my previous tutoring, save for the addition of political science. I do not approve of the addition.

My duties in the hold (aside from study) are limited. My primary job is to track, regulate, and optimize the growth curves of the hold's cash cells. I did not do this at home, but it is not much of an expansion.

I have identified two potential friendship candidates. The first is of family Bthundz, which is the obsolete pathological biology family of the hold, and the second is of family Trunmethn, who are the hold's sigil engineers.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 23rd degree of Jhunal (56th azimuth) and the 54th degree of Thendr (652nd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at median and Magnus is 87% dilated. ME1749

Well Unknown, I have secured a Friend. She is called Meirinth, of family Trunmethn here in the Deep-Hold. She has endured 9 more years than I and is currently fostered to family Klondrak, who are esteemed tonal architects among the clan - I mean the clan Khurakhem, my clan, but perhaps not yours. She has inky black hair and fuzz on her chin and she is highly praised by the architects for her promising talent. She invited me to a Trunmethn feast and I talked all evening with her Father about the advancements in sigil fundamentalism the Trunmethn have made in the last five decades. I inquired about a fosterage with the family Trunmethn after this but the Father declined.

My studies are fascinating but stifling; none of my tutors have an interest in abiological maintenance.

That's all of me for now Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

Addendum: I neglected to mention that I also acquired Brunfath Bthundz as a secondary Friend. We study together every day.

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 343rd degree of Jhunal (52nd azimuth) and the 66th degree of Kynrt (908th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at twelve elevenths median and Magnus is at 66% dilation. ME1738

Today Foster-Father Earnyz informed me that Father Rethuch has arranged my second fosterage with family Tolnach, who are hydrodynamicists in Clan-Hold Nchuand-Zel.

Father Rethuch is not always known for his right judgement.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 60th degree of Thendr (817th azimuth) and the 8th degree of Akhat (13th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at nine eighths median and Magnus is 99% dilated. ME1728

I might just hate the womer you wed, Unknown, if you're a hydrodynamicist. The best that can be said for this fosterage is that it requires much polydimensional arithmetic and tangential mathematics; in everything else it is dull to an extreme. Hydrodynamics are so... so... satisfying. There is an aerodynamicist subsect of the family Tolnach in Bthardamz; at least with them I could work with the pneumatects and their automata.

I have not secured any Friends here due to incompatibility of interests, but I still send beats to Meirinth Trunmethn and Brunfath Bthundz every thirty days, as is prudent for the maintaintenance of acquaintance. Brunfath Bthundz is faithful in his rhythmograms to me, but Meirinth has too much work and study to contact often, given her demanding fosterage with the lattice mechanics of Bthuand. Brunfath Bthundz has embarked upon recreational fermentation; it is also common in this hold.

We have mastered the technique of frozen relay in bone beats and converse privately in this way.

That's all of me for now Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach.

* * *

 

419th degree of Jhunal; 27th degree of Mhara. Nirn at seven fifths median; Magnus dilated to 76%. ME1720

Unknown: Ninety days of progress in Trunmethn fosterage; Father Rethuch secured by special dispensation of Father Earnyz' Trunmethn ideoplasmic tariff. Family indubitably publishing revolutionary investigations soon. Current occupation limited to maintenance of sigil element manipulation engine and tutoring limited, but clandestine Trunmethn archive access grants sufficient data for intellectual progression in the discipline. Principle of sigil engineering of course understood since Rkund (since expulsion?), but here they push beyond simple supraconscious macrosymbolic mythic imprintation and into the true fundamental metaphorical/physical elements of resonance. Feel sure that irreducible symbol (universal reference) must be ultimate goal, but how close? Ridiculous investigation regardless; the ring is the self-evident answer.

Brunfath Bthundz at fosterage with family Hurankhur at Raldbthar; acquired second Brother one year past. Name: Urkhaz Bthundz, still at nurse here in Deep-Hold FalZhardum Din. Mother terminated in initiation.

Meirinth auto-nullified social obligation upon Kherakah matriculation.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

524th degree of Akhat; 27th degree of Kynrt. Nirn at six fifteenths median; Magnus dilated to 94%. ME1706

Unknown: Lone year remaining in the Deep-Hold before return to Rkund for auto-evaluation of fosterage and determination of group applications.

Recent responsibility restriction grating; discovery of archive access ill-received. Tedium now, but Urkhaz Bthundz and Bzentin Mzark occupy and alleviate a modicum of tension. Urkhaz bereft of fosterage due to deficient family status, but questions correctly and sees. Bzentin precocious prodigy, but scornful of fosterage practice. Scornful of most, save Urkhaz and potentially myself; prefers our private study to guidance of family elders. Particularly syncretically skilled.

Kherakah regretted application.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

223rd degree of Rkhet; 27th degree of Jhunal. Nirn at median; Magnus dilated to 49%. ME1703

Unknown: Father-Rethuch's logic deteriorates; insistence upon familial necessity despite limpid evidence of divergent interest. Rkund hunkers.

Inquiry beat to Thuanach of family Bthurmatheng at Arkngthand, Mzanthuang of Kharhung at Arkngthamz, Varnak of Thungaldch at Mzinchaleft, and as a failsafe to the Free-Hold Bethamez, west of Vvardenfell, which has been without a sigil engineer for some decades. Each of my primary selections includes an experienced group of sigil engineers. The Foster-Father Earnyz declined reference.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 256th degree of Rkhet (388th azimuth) and the 406th degree of Akhat (622nd azimuth). Nirn is at seven nineths median and Magnus is dilated to 79%. ME1701

Congratulate me, Unknown, because I finally managed to repair the daedron containment fields of the sigil stamp observation chamber  _and_ reprime the aetherial accumulation disks. An absurd repair; the metallurgists here are utterly ignorant to the basic components of sigil engineering, and the Bethamez Organizing Principle didn't have the sense to request the proper design broadcast nodes. I had to ping them myself to even wake the automata to the malfuctions. Apparently the hold simply swallowed the energy deficit and resorted to conventional mechanics even on rate-limiting processes once the observation chamber had leaked below the threshold of supraconsciousness. It is generally a sub-standard hold, however; it seems to have been composed of 4/7, but maintenance has allowed the meter to slip differentially across the hold. It is extremely grating.

Bzentin Mzark made contact yesterday; he has obtained special admission to the Academy at Kherakah and finagled Urkhaz in as well. Offered for me, but it is too late for that, Unknown. Admission at their age is preposterous, but Bzentin will outwit most instructors. Brunfath is well; still competing with the alchemical engineers in recreational fermentation. Says he worries Urkhaz is falling to poor logic and experimenting upon himself with extracts of psychotropic fungi.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 132nd degree of Mhara (379th azimuth) and the 447th degree of Thendr (543rd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seven sixths median and Magnus is at 86% dilation. ME1692

The Free-Hold generates insufficient work, Unknown; Governing Principle Bthuand has put me on split appointment as coordinator of automated repair. This is suitable to me, for ubiquitous are the potentials I see for sigil application. The Hold's production and processing systems are decrepit and obsolete, predating the development of cyclical mutual utilization design philiosophy; the place rifes with rate-limitations prime for elimination. The primary barrier is the threshold of supraconsciousness, of course. Miniaturization of sigil modules is simple - and vital for use as processor components - but inducing observation for imprintation at such a small scale is problematic. Daedron containment fields are completely impractical, but perhaps an aetherial impulse from a charged morpholith. Or better, periodic impulsive discharge in a morpholithic incarceration circuit...

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 793rd degree of Rkhet (23rd azimuth) and the 611th degree of Mhara (650th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at ten nineths median and Magnus is 80% dilated. ME1687

Urthemz Ngarkur Bthangmund questioned extensively after examination of fully renovated smelter. Fixated most on the animunculic resonance and control crystals I fixed to the latest mercurial sigil synthesis sphere models. They were inactive, of course, currently on steam impetus and manual formulation, present only for future development. Ngarkur Bthangmund inquired whether I had experience with enchanting automata directives and I replied negatively, but shared something of that vector's ruminations. Subsequently Ngarkur extended invitation to join his group in the Free-Hold, which investigates the fundamentals of automata motivation and perception.

I accepted immediately - there is no other group of any esteem in the hold - but only this evening learned at mugs with Colhengrun that Ngarkur studied with Urkhaz' and Bzentin's tutor, the famed Polymath.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 741st degree of Jhunal (973rd azimuth) and the 9th degree of Kynrt (335th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at twenty elevenths median and Magnus is 95% dilated. ME1685

Urkhaz and Bzentin have many words for me about their studies; Kherakah is a demanding facility, even for them. They have acquired two Friends of similar ability.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 347th degree of Thendr (774th azimuth) and the 893rd degree of Akhat (235th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at five eights median and Magnus is 78% dilated. ME1679

At conference in the 5/9 of Kemel-Ze today, Unknown, with Ngarkur and team. The Deep-Hold's alchemical engineers synthesized seven exclusive formulations for the event; the best is malted with yam and Vvardenfell gruit. Braised boar and skrill breast blood pudding are the main solid-state sustenance, and in formidable supply.

Khurakhem Meirinth Trunmethn is here with the rest of her family for presentation of Meirinth Trunmethn's first innovation: 'Miniaturized Configurable Sigillic Possibility Imprintation Modules,' which garnered some acclaim and rendered the nearly complete draft in my satchel moot. Of course her cubes do not have the capacity for automation and her technique for supraconscious induction (tonal lattice mediated epiphany preparation) is both over-complex and inefficient, but the concept is still near enough to invalidate my own work for publication. The automated element will have to be completed first.

Beneficially, Ngarkur was nearby during the presentation to run a consolation function on me. I think we have begun to add new modules of mutual expectation, Unknown.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 35th degree of Kynrt (45th azimuth) and the 195th degree of Mhara (212th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seven fifteenths median and Magnus is 79% dilated. ME1673

Dramatic developments today, Unknown. Reverberations from Bzentin this morning communicated that Urkhaz has been discontinued from the Academy at Kherakah for transgressional experimentation and prohibited mental transmutations. Pilei finally had their consequence for the damn fool.

He must have proven his intellectual merit, though, because Bzentin reports further that the Polymath resigned in protest of the decision, leaving all his students and technicians at the Academy. Urkhaz is to continue with him at his new location; Bzentin declined inclusion due to diversion of interests.

Ngarkur came later with further information. The Polymath sent a rhythmogram to all his associates indicating urgent interest in acquiring promising researchers for his new group. Ngarkur held my fingers as a courting signal as he informed me that he submitted my unpublished work on sigil stamp miniaturization as application for the position. In one year, he says I may be working with Radac Arkngthemz, the Polymath.

I am not hopeful, but it is a satisfactory courting gift.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 373rd degree of Kynrt (645th azimuth) and the 893rd degree of Thendr (904th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seventeen twentieths median and Magnus is dilated to 100%. ME1672

Unknown, Unknown, I have been accepted! Radac arrived in the hold today, unannounced, though Urthemz Ngarkur Bthangmund was informed of the plan and facilitated the surprise. The two of them actually descended upon me while I was in the bowels of the Stamp, installing the mid-capacity automated observation chamber and grimed all over in oil. He hummed me his greeting, tugged his peyot, and promptly seated himself on a pipe to examine every aspect of my education.

My temporal perception warped under his swift barrage of frowns, grunts, and muttered harmony hymns, interrupted with ejaculated inquiries into the intricacies of every subseries of investigation, from mythical mathematics to metallurgy to complex meter without regard for logical progression; of course I realized immediately the calculation: determine the minimum of my intellectual ability - but it must have been five hours before he pronounced my understanding adequate. produced my draft from inside his robes, and tore it in half.

Too difficult to understand, he said, with Ngarkur Bthangmund grinning behind, and proceeded to deride the orthodox demand for incomprehensibility in presentation of research. At the conclusion of the tirade he stood, pulled me up, kissed both my cheeks, and announced that he accepted my application. That is how it happened, Unknown, as unorthodox as it is, but I understand if you doubt; I doubt also.

We embark for Kemel-Ze this evening; Urkhaz and the rest of Radac's new group await us there.

The Polymath, Unknown! The Polymath!

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

Salutations to the Unknown from the 271st degree of Jhunal (425th azimuth) and the 621st degree of Dbluh (763rd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at sixteen nineths median and Magnus is 85% dilated. ME1672

Embraced in the 5/9 tala of Deep-Hold Kemel-Ze once more, Unknown! Radac and I arrived by zeppelin this morning and met the Governing Principle at the docks. Introductions to the rest of the group pending, and first meeting this evening.

My quarters are in a sublimely beautiful 7/12 subharmony, and - oh, Urkhaz is here, Unknown, and with an impressively full beard.

That's all of me for now.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 930th degree of Mhara (42nd azimuth) and the 680th degree of Akhat (784th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at nine fourths median and Magnus is 69% dilated. ME1671

I am uncertain how to evaluate this data. First, Radac displayed repeated facial communication signals of dissatisfaction during my impromptu examination. Second, he accepted me to his group. Third, he has tasked me with a particularly challenging initial project. Fourth, he expects all his students to attempt similarly difficult endeavors. Fifth, he encouraged me to assist the others wherever my knowledge and sigil skills would be beneficial. Sixth, he has repeatedly said that investigation is a collective effort and facilitated strongly by synergistic conjunction of talent. Does he esteem me especially, or am I one among many?

The project with which he has challenged me focuses on the fundamentals of animunculic generation. More specifically, I am to define and quantify the symbolic basis of creation and anti-creation by generating a sigil which replicates the established tonal procedure and then dissecting its symbolic elements. This will have the dual benefit of producing a machine which requires only a finite amount of energy for the animunculic generation instead of the repeated inputs of the tonal method, and of elucidating the fundamentals of the process. I am currently designing a prototype.

Received a social status report from Ngarkur Bthangmund.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 854th degree of Jhunal (911th azimuth) and the 16th degree of Rkhet (201st azimuth). Nirn is rotating at median and Magnus is 92% dilated. ME1668

Urkhaz loitered in my office again this evening, Unknown. I am curious as to how he accomplishes any progress on his own projects while repeatedly manifesting himself in my office, or laboratory, or research Stamp of an evening. Considering, this behavior began after the night, approximately 32 days past, in which we met without schedule at mugs. I shared something of my thoughts on further sigil miniaturization that night, if my memories are accurate.

I lose productivity when he is present, but it is... enjoyable to talk with him. He is a very intense and interesting mer, and very interested in my ruminations - primarily those on miniaturization, if his skilled conversational machinations are not merely a cover for another purpose. He did display signals of genuine interest when I shared the problem of supraconscious induction - the scalability of the sigils themselves far exceeds that of the mechanisms of aetherial saturation, and thus further miniaturization will require new induction techniques - but he displays much more tension in them than he has in the past. Perhaps he has chronic project anxiety. Several nervous tics, most notable a propensity to pace and obsessively examine and reposition my possessions.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 373rd degree of Dbluh (619th azimuth) and the 840th degree of Jhunal (111th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at nine tenths median and Magnus is 81% dilated. ME1665

Inquired as to the nature and status of Urkhaz' project during his visit this evening. Scale reductions show evidence of trending; Urkhaz too has been percolating the problem of miniaturization, in the context of automata design, one of his major planes of interest. More problematic than my own, perhaps, if only for the quantity of systems to be scaled.

I've constructed and tested several more animunculic generation sigils, but they have proven as ineffective as the initial. Perhaps I am approaching this ineffectively in some manner... perhaps an increase in sigil fundamentalism would increase effectiveness.

That's all of me for now.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 144th degree of Jhunal (310th azimuth) and the 421st degree of Akhat (833rd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at three quarters median and Magnus is 93% dilated. ME1664

Latest sigil design still ineffective, but at least Radac is handy with emotional manipulation techniques and was nearby to stem my overflow of frustration. The facility of emotional engineering from mentor to mentee is widely acknowledged, but not so many realize, as Radac has through centuries of experience, that sincerity amplifies its effectiveness several fold. He is not only a nearly unparalleled researcher but also a truly caring mer.

Urkhaz still in Deep-Hold FalZhardum Din with Bzentin and, according to their reports, Meirinth Trunmenthn, for the examination of Khurkhem's Council candidates. Approximately 6 months remaining in this sojourn. A daughter of agricultural engineers is too simplistic to effect a sufficient challenge for any potential Council member; perhaps especially if she is so domestically rebellious as to study sigil engineering. Meirinth only qualified due to her tonal work, despite its superfluousness to her designs. Damn political scientists.

I perceive an odd shallowness in the 7/12 of my office in the past three months, espcially past the vespor melody shift. I checked the mechana, but everything is functioning adequately. Nevertheless, I still intuit the absence of a beat. Must be psychosomatic concentration disorder; I'll spend more time at mugs.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimath Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 74th degree of Thendr (97th azimuth) and the 98th degree of Mhara (280th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at eleven twelfths median and Magnus is 100% dilated. ME1663

Received formal marital proposition from Urthemz Ngarkur Bthangmund today, Unknown. Perhaps that is who you are? Will have to consider the full twenty-five, but he is now Principle of a highly esteemed group in Mzinchaleft under the Cosmograph, and he pledged a tidy brooch puzzle of divine detritus. A fair offer.

That's all of me for now.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 327th degree of Dbluh (480th azimuth) and the 569th degree of Thendr (587th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at five fourths median and Magnus is 74% dilated. ME1662

My unacknowledged element placed me in Urkhaz' office after mugs, where we committed osculation.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 911th degree of Mhara (973rd azimuth) and the 85th degree of Dbluh (119th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at eight sevenths median and Magnus is 97% dilated. ME1662

No more resistance, Unknown, because last night I learned the sense of simplicity from internal combustion, from the heat engine we jigged between us, the classic design; four-stroke cycle and reciprocal, length over-slickened for the friction of undersquare. A single-step assembly, but the suck stroke rubbed off rotation to the neural armature, which the squeeze induced through the crankspines' stator field coils into an alternating gyrational current, setting the piston rings aflutter on the bang and leading to polyphonic moan-tones and tensile contraction of the cylinder walls during the blow, and so on and so forth like that in fluid 1/1, pounding torque and tension through the prismatic joints of the drive shaft until the flywheel's resistance released and it all inflected forward on an oscillation froth of oil and squealing steam, sloping down at last to an equilibrium of lubricated limbs sigil-shaping the residual thrusts of piston-pumped void.

Yes, one exhaustion of our engine drove that sense in deep, but this morning I think more clearly and conclude that a three replicate minimum is a right standard for many relevant reasons.

You've got all of me now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 214th degree of Thendr (351st azimuth) and the 380th degree of Akhat (467th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at five fourths median and Magnus is 68% dilated. ME1661

Regardless of the consequences to my career, I intend to make a proposal to you, Urkhaz Bthundz. You are healthy, intelligent, determined, and possess mental and physical proclivities compatible to my own. You have convinced me of delay's merit at this stage, but I expect swift action once your real work has dispelled the social stratum's focus on your juvenile foibles from the other clans.

I could not wait to decline Ngarkur, however; his proposal had already aged too long for that. He accepted my declension with grace, but I intuit that his personal schematics will require significant redesign.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

* * *

 

**_Dinmenel_ **

**_Intrepid Investigator_ **

**_School of Thoughts and Calculations_ **

**_Alinor_ **

 

_My Dear Dinmenel,_

_What an absolute treasure you have uncovered! Even now I find myself staring at your notes, still quite speechless. To my knowledge, no document of this import has been published since the Hanging Gardens controversy, late third-era. A gem - a gem! And not just for its significance as a rare personal insight into Dwemer society, but even for its own sheer beauty. Were there ever a more fascinating people?_

_With your permission, I intend to share this with my colleagues in hopes that it will put to rest the chorus of skeptics from the more pedestrian departments who continually try to cut our funding with their vehement insistence that any pursuit of Dwemer Anthropology is inherently doomed to failure. I'm sure you've heard the arguments yourself - that the whole society was so essentially alien such that no empathy or identification with their race could ever be possible. I believe you have proved them quite ignorant._

_No thanks could ever suffice for the great favour of sending this to me. I am warmed you thought of me on the cusp of the greatest discovery of your career. Further updates on your progress in translating the rest of the epithalamium would be welcome. I expect you will be quite busy for the next while, but if you desire a break from the academic hysteria that's sure to sweep over this, come pay me a visit in Gwylim. It's been too long._

_In anticipation and love,_

_Taoiseach_

_Professor mirabilia_

_University of Gwylim_

_Gwylim_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Taoiseach_ **

**_Professora Mirabilia_ **

**_University of Gwylim_ **

**_Gwylim_ **

 

_My Dearest Taoiseach,_

_Many thanks for your sweet note; I am pleased in your pleasure. Having set aside projects sundry and complex and devoted all my considerable efforts to the translation of the rest of Arimatha's notebooks, I send to you now the enclosed package. It is, unfortunately, a rather spotty synthesis of the document as a whole - we did not recover all of the component texts during Rkund's excavation; most notably those representing the time periods of ME 1325 - 950, ME 900 - 500, and ME 470 - 1E 130 - but still, I think it represents an interesting view into the arc of Dwemeri life. Even without the full document, however, this is a weighty tome in total, and so for this stage I have selected only passages key to Arimatha's personal narrative to compile and present to you. I will, of course, be happy to provide you with the complete material at our next meeting; I'm sure you will notice many interesting linguistic quirks in it that I have not even suspected._

_Happy reading and much love,_

_Dinmenel_

_Intrepid Investigator_

_School of Thoughts and Calculations_

_Alinor_

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 540th degree of Zin (626th azimuth) and the 756th degree of Mhara (1002nd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at nine sevenths median and Magnus is 73% dilated. ME1548

My final design for sigillic generation of animunculi was accepted by Automated Methodology last week, but only for the glamour of Radac's name. I grant that the design is a poor one (still haven't solved the supraconsciousness problem, and all the aetherial material input to the observation cell for induction is absorbed along with the target spiritual constructs, resulting in an exorbitant energy load), but the advancements I've made in sigil fundamentalism should count for something on their own. I am fortunate to have Radac, and not only for his instrumental friendship and guidance.

He is as effective as ever he was, both in intellectual investigation and emotional engineering, but he has lost some of his levity. It is his new subject - with the discovery of the Ever Method, the point of anutpada, has come a slight grade of grimness to his outlook and expression.

Read Tcheningkh Velren Methuand's accounts of the planes today; they are truly riveting reading, Urkhaz, but perhaps I simply sympathize with her plight; it is not always socially beneficial, a close relationship with such an exemplar of our people such as mine with Radac has become, or Velren's with her Uncle the Cosmograph. I am first published on a score of Radac's manuscripts, but the peer acknowledgement I garner from them is more comparable to that due a transitory technician. To the world outside Kemel-Ze's 5/9 tala, I am merely Radac's toy sigil-engineer.

That's all for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 71st degree of Thendr (79th azimuth) and the 264th degree of Mhara (339th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seven twelfths median and Magnus is 94% dilated. ME1459

Of course you'll already know this, but I want to share the excitement, because for so long I strove to hide my true thoughts and emotions from you, fearful of true exposure, but I've finally pushed past the barrier of induction! The Mother Zhemeara germinated the idea in me while ruminating on the unfolding of children into new shells of observation.  _That's_ how it will be done, Urkhaz; I've already developed a exoclinic hypnopompic sigil as proof of concept. You see, the problem has always been that sigil engineering relies on the consciousness, or observational capacity, of a subseries of existence, using manifest symbolic abstraction to redefine reality sans conventional cause, and that the sigil constructs used required recognition of high-order yantras unobservable to low-order observational entities; that is to say, subjectively unconceived. The solution to this, obviously, lies in sigil fundamentalism; the incremental alteration of first order observations which redefines the nature of the sigil itself; an oscillating reaction of systematic awakening and revelation which results in the induction of supraconsciousness in any subseries of nonexistence unto the threshold of the sigil's final function, after which the denouement routine returns unreality to original-order observation.

You see of course that with this the need for aetherial saturation is entirely eliminated and sigil scalability increased unto the level of principal existence. I'm already set to sketching out sigils for some of the microscale automata functions you have mentioned; this should greatly facilitate your miniaturization efforts.

I'm eager to return to the 5/9 of Kemel-Ze; the Father Rethuch still refuses to see me, so I am only permitted to remain in Rkund until Mother is delivered of my 2nd brother.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Unknown from the 406th degree of Rkhet (616th azimuth) and the 625th degree of Mhara (750th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seven elevenths median and Magnus is 65% dilated. ME1353

Received a rhythmogram from Sigil Science today, Urkhaz - they've declined publication of my treatise on autoreplicative elements as quickly as my last two theses. Foster-Father Earnyz Trunmethn is editor now, of course, so I've little insecurity as to the merit of my research itself; but nevertheless, these repeated unfounded rejections of my work do little to bolster my morale.

I've never told you about my fosterage with family Trunmethn, unless the memory is in the mugs. That was one of so many things I obscured from you in my youth, before I knew you and knew that I wanted you to know me. I wanted so strongly to have been born into their family, Urkhaz, for their interests, talents, and social habitat are so much more aligned to my own than are those of family Kthumach. I wanted it badly enough to subvert all social mechanisms and engineer my own fosterage. Rhythmographic validation and encryption signatures were much less rigorous then - this was just before your birth - and I was able to synthesize a dialogue between Earnyz, the Governing Principle of Deep-Hold FalZhardum Din, and the Father Rethuch, intercepting each phonogram and relaying replies through the legitimate ossimer nodes; that was the only reason Earnyz - and the Father Rethuch - agreed to the fosterage; because they believed the Governing Principle supported it. They did eventually discover my machinations, but were unable to secure full proof; rhythmographic logs had not yet been developed. Not that Earnyz needs proof to discriminate against my work, or Meirinth to plagiarize my designs, or the Father Rethuch to banish me from my home hold.

A hard way to learn the sociofunctional value of honesty.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 814th degree of Akhat (864th azimuth) and the 37th degree of Dbluh (109th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at twelve fifths median and Magnus is 78% dilated. ME948

Why do we do this, Unknown? Why do we design and build, research and discover, postulate and prove, when the only result of our efforts is a decrease in physical discomfort and increase of material control? The entire function of our endeavors is the mitigation of dissatisfaction and the proliferation of our pattern. Why are we driven so to reproduction and expansion, why do we marry, why do we bear children, when we know that the only inheritance we have for our issue is inexorable discontent? All of us feel this, every year, every day, for the one thing at which we have profoundly failed is the death of dissatisfaction, and yet we continue to inflict existence upon our children. Why do we think, why do we strain for ever more complete and complex temporal occupation, which is all that our work amounts, when we know that even this is only illusion, only temporary comfort against the inevitable acknowledgement of the emptiness of existence? Why do I yearn for you when I know that even you are only an arbitrary consolation? Why do I keep writing for you, Unknown, my love, my Urkhaz, when I know we will never wed, you will never cherish these notebooks, and that even if you did, the perfect reproduction of my essence in your mind for which I long, that true knowledge, is inherently impossible? We will never touch, Unknown; we  _have_ never touched, for existence is emptiness. And yet I endure.

Hope? The possibility that we might be incorrect in our every evaluation, as the Chimer insist and the artists parody? I do not think so. No, I think Radac is most correct; the Ever Method drives us, will within our will and inexplicable. Remove it, and as his work has shown, our inexorable functionality will evaporate. His subjects die, Unknown. They curl up and die.

But they are not Dwemer. The process is ineffective on our own. Which I understand completely: the great cruelty, and the great irony, is that we who see the world's ephemerality most fully are also the most formidably endowed with its eternal Method. Though I chafe at mere existence, I would never surrender to it.

Congratulations on your recognition at last, Urkhaz. I received three more rejections this morning.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 350th degree of Thendr (417th azimuth) and the 482nd degree of Jhunal (605th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at six eighths median and Magnus is 99% dilated. ME930

Urthemz Ngarkur Bthangmund has offered me his position as editor of Juvenile General, so I suppose this recent work will find inclusion in my next review of the field along with hypnopompic sigils and the rest. No doubt that Meirinth and her father will think that a suitable position for one of my acknowledged academic stature - but perhaps not as much when their children meet their initial examinations with my interpretation memes foremost in their minds; I have a few thoughts on purely ideoplasmic sigil forms. Perhaps I can mentor the next generation into an appreciation for the field's possibilities beyond simplistic mechanical processing and psychosomatic architecture.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 712th degree of Dbluh (830th azimuth) and the 930th degree of Jhunal (982nd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at twelve thirteenths median and Magnus is 85% dilated. ME921

Devised a method to test my theories on ideoplasmic autogenetic sigil structures today. You'll recall the craze for artificial insemination and incubation currently rampant across the Western holds. It is a ridiculously wasteful endeavor; womer are obviously already sufficiently equipped to fulfill this function, and to replace us is simple obsessive technological sprawl. Therefore I will release a prototype autoreplicative ideoplasmic sigil today in communication with Brunfath and in the latest issue of the General. This sigil gives as a byproduct the phrase 'Why reinvent the womb?' We will see how the craze withstands it.

I do hope that your own work is progressing well, but I worry that you will relapse with so much potentially psychotropic exposure.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 118th degree of Akhat (138th azimuth) and the 221st degree of Jhunal (318th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at five thirds median and Magnus is 74% dilated. ME914

I still wonder whether you discerned the mechanisms motivating my behavior that night at mugs with Radac. It was very simple: I was jealous. I am jealous. Do not think that I have no logical cause; I have sufficient logical cause for this emotion, or I would not feel it. I know you say that there is no longer matrimonial interest on either side, but Meirinth is still an objectively superb candidate. Much more so than I. Oh, she does not have quite the understanding that you and I share, but she is intelligent, talented, and well-published, which betters me by one. And if you truly are not interested, why did you agree to assist her with this investigation? An opportunity, you call it, and why waste an opportunity for research? But opportunities trill around you since your recognition, and of them all you choose to work with a sigil engineer, when I, your own, your love, would embark at your first request upon any project you could conceive. Instead you devote your mind and your time to development with Meirinth Trunmethn, Meirinth my rival, Meirinth who designs sigils of dazzling complexity but still relies on aetherial saturation for supraconscious induction, Meirinth who beguiles you with calculations of mystery. Meirinth who is beautiful, as I myself know for having admired her as a child, Meirinth whom you could marry, Meirinth who would entrust you with her epithalamium, Meirinth who could give you real children; Meirinth who is everything that a womer should be.

Perhaps I have not yet replicated my thoughts fully. Therefore a question: what emotions would function for you if I were to collaborate with the new paragon of Kherakah? I did meet him, when we were there for conference, and we possess compatible interests. We have even exchanged rhythmographs since, on the logical consequences of his recent thesis and my own explorations into null-order arithmetic. There are no such plans yet, but we could make considerable advances together. Moreover, his fame and audacity, unlike yours, is sufficient to elevate me from obscurity, were we to develop and formalize extensive modules of mutual expectations.

It is me to whom you return. It was me you gifted an entire city of subjects. It is me you have loved for the past millenium. But it is Meirinth with whom you want to work. You return to my laboratory and my bed with complaints of her reticence and obstinance, but that does not fill the empty years you spend at work with her in Kagrenzel, except with jealousy, which is fear that I am unsatisfactory to you, that my intellect is insufficient, my skill inadequate, that after all these years you will choose another. So that is why I slandered her openly, in front of Radac and his students that night, Urkhaz. And that is why I suspended my candor and demanded you determine the cause of my behavior yourself.

I still wonder whether you did.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 353rd degree of Jhunal (539th azimuth) and the 807th degree of Thendr (839th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seventeen sixteenths median and Magnus is dilated to 68%. ME910

The work proceeds well, although unthanked and unacknowledged as always. The docility sigil spread even more rapidly than I anticipated, and its selective acquisition node seems to have prevented contamination into the control populations. I will allow five more years in the experiment and then release a secondary sigil for the controls; they are currently fomenting rebellion. I regret the necessity of this project, Urkhaz; this is not an optimal situation. They are like pets now, save intelligent, and although they satisfy my need for simplistic affection and innocent physical contact with their enthusiastic, melodious greetings and fumbling embraces, I would not have subjected them to this unconsciousness of indignity, this pseudodeath, if you had not requested it. They have attributed to me twisted maternal mores.

Perhaps when you return to the 3/8 of FalZhardum Din, you will be their father.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 895th degree of Kynrt (904th azimuth) and the 54th degree of Akhat (101st azimuth). Nirn is rotating at median and Magnus is 89% dilated. ME478

Brunfath, his wife Mzaln, and their first daughter are visiting Kemel-Ze this month, Urkhaz. Brunfath is especially pleased by the recreational fermentation facility I developed for my mentees and the Juvenile General readers of the hold. I suppose that I did finally capitulate to fashion, but it is truly an enjoyable pastime. Yes, this post is amiable to me no matter the extent of society's disapproval; my mentees are productively content and discomfited in concentrated intellectual dissatisfaction under my guidance, and with Radac's trust that is everything necessary to assuage my self-doubt. I do miss my work in the 5/9, mostly for worrying on the well-being of my test subjects; the docility sigil amplified their psychomechanical need for a caring, nurturing guide. I cannot abandon my mentees, but I feel the greater need for me elsewhere. A few more centuries will do no harm, but I am subliminally anxious for the conclusion of your elite collaboration so that Radac may return.

I've passed along the sample he sent to my metallurgist, Chelngzund, and have begun preliminary designs for the specialized smelting sigils he requested. My private work currently focuses on the tuning of dynamic data storage, subroutine execution, metaporgramming and supra-self metaprogramming hypnopompic sigil networks for the automated regulation of delicate processes, as well as investigating solutions for the problem of supraconscious limitation. Still have not determined how to surpass the quantitative limit of hypnopompia. Subscriptions to the General are up 15% from last quarter.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 120th degree of Kynrt (375th azimuth) and the 396th degree of Rkhet (413th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at four fifths median and Magnus is 93% dilated. 1E160

The Cosmograph, the Merapodist, and now... the Polymath. Four short years, and three of our key navigational entities are gone. They guided us, shaped us; pioneered entire planes of research, engineered us into a better people. Under their designs we could put aside the boundaries of clan and hold in the perception of mutual benefit and intellectual advancement. How will we function without them? It is a time of oscillation; we must find our new equilibrium. But how do we do that without them? How will we learn to function without our grandfathers? How will  _I_ function without my Polymath's protection? How?

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 693rd degree of Thendr (761st azimuth) and the 905th degree of Jhunal (976th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at fifteen fourteenths median and Magnus is 67% dilated. 1E172

Our own people disgust me this day, Urkhaz. They have turned his last great accomplishment, our last collaboration, into the contested nexus of petty expansionary militarism. Already the Nblngun and the Amkhengz clash openly, and the Vatani set themselves against each other. Remove the King, and this conflict will sunder our people completely; it is utter foolishness.

All but the Mebthemz have suspended interclan transit and communication. Research is nearly nonexistent; all efforts are now directed to defences and martialization. Kemel-Ze is closed to me now, Khurakhem as I am. I am attempting to rejoin you in FalZhardum Din, but the journey will not be without peril. The remnants of Radac's group who did not return to their home holds after the destruction of Arkngthamz are with me, and we will be of great interest to those who wish to use, or replicate, his device.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 123rd degree of Mhara (302nd azimuth) and the 461st degree of Rkhet (477th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seven nineths median and Magnus is 74% dilated. 1E175

Our party was intercepted by the Urthemz just northeast of Tone-Tower. We are currently being held in Raldbthar; safe, for the Urthemz think to acquire from us the principles of Radac's forge, but forbidden passage to the Deep-Hold. For the first time in my life I am a precious asset - but I will not replicate his work for the ambitions of the Prince. Radac's work has already suffered too much misuse and indignity.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations to the Known from the 654th degree of Thendr (375th azimuth) and the 691st degree of Akhat (616th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at eleven fourteenths median and Magnus is 97% dilated. 1E176

None of us are warriors, but nor were we chosen by one of the most brilliant minds of the past 3000 years for our symmetry of countenance; the year I allotted to the Urthemz as opportunity for amiable release has expired, and the automata we modified and manufactured in secret smashed us a bloody path through the hold and down to the 3/8. None were injured and the Tenziim and Khurakhem Governing Principles of the Deep-Hold received us well, but I find only your absence here, Urkhaz, and rumors of fleeting, sporadic sightings across the Western holds. I trust your skill, but even one of your stature must be cautious in this contest of ambition.

That's all of me for now, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

Salutations the Known from the 934th degree of Kynrt (409th azimuth) and the 98th degree of Rkhet (289th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at eight fifths median and Magnus is 94% dilated. 1E198

My search sigils still cannot find you, and all my inquiry with the other clans has yielded only jaded indifference to your lack of intervention in this conflict. Where are you, Urkhaz, and what are you doing? It has been nearly 30 years. If Meirinth were not here in the Deep-Hold as well, I might... I learned today of the destruction of Rkund. My father, and mother, my first and second brothers and all my aunts and uncles were there when the mountain collapsed upon the Vatani. All of family Kthumach is now dead, except me. But Urkhaz, as horrific as this war has been, its aftermath may be our opportunity at last. So many of the last generation were lost, and their ossified prejudices with them. Today's youth knows me, was practically raised by me; I can finally gain some real prestige and use the advancements of my hitherto ignored career to rebuild our people to a majesty beyond any previously achieved. And if I can do that, maybe... I can finally accept your proposal, and marry you as an equal. Maybe you will finally read these words, and I can cease this pining presentation to an Unknown and its dissonance with the face of nonexistence.

Please come home, Urkhaz.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

1E205

He was my consolation, Unknown. He was my existential justification. I thought I knew him. For almost two millenia, I assumed that I knew him. I did not truly observe. I renamed you Known and appointed him my totem of ignorance. In all other aspects of my life I stared unceasingly into the anutpada Ever Method of existence, but with him I allowed myself to become unconscious to absence. Perhaps it was necessary. Perhaps we all need one objective, at least one objective truth to console ourselves against the fundamental emptiness of existence. I do not know. I do not know, but if we do then I will die, for my consolation emptied itself of existence when he fractured my spine across the Stamp at FalZhardum Din and brutalized your bride; my consolation unveiled himself as the erection of nonexistence when he snapped my jaw to accept silence unto foundation; my consolation awakened its absence with each ejaculation of emptiness, each thrust, saturating my body with his void until nonexistence oozed from my every orifice and agony. Maybe if I had avoided the concept of consolation I would have observed the craze in his eye; maybe if I had seen my love for him as adoration of absence it would have been only me, not them, not my children, pale and bearded both and drawn on my cries to his power, to his violation. Maybe my broken body would not have received their void as well on the tones of his terror. Maybe I would not have watched the empty horrors of their flesh-riveted ends.

When at last he tired, he bound me in an aggregation vine of the automacules that won him his glory and left me, encrusted with the remnants of our mingled fluids and nearly unconscious, to renew himself in my bed. As I fail to understand everything now, I fail to understand how he believed I could be held in this way. His constructs rely on  _my_ sigils, and I needed no more than a mobile digit and my own blood to appropriate their programming. I left him there in the Deep-Hold, sealed in my laboratory by his own creations - not that they will hold him.

And now, Unknown? Now I am a broken womer, braced on nothing; braced, once more, on you. I never knew him, or you. All consolation is arbitrary illusion, but 2000 years of data point against the pre-existence of this brutality; I think that he has been altered. I may be wrong. I do not know. I do not know, but I sense that there is something in the project that drew him and his peers from me for those centuries of my reign in Kemel-Ze that has worked this change upon him. I sense it, and I will see it.

But first I will heal. Consolation is dead; consolation never existed. Urkhaz was always unreal, and there is no justification for existence. I will heal, and learn never to look away from nonexistence, and here in my retreat beneath ruined Rkund, I will deliver the last heirs of Kthumach.

* * *

 

**_Dinmenel_ **

**_Intrepid Investigator_ **

**_School of Thoughts and Calculations_ **

**_Alinor_ **

 

_My Dear Dinmenel,_

_Absorbing myself in your notes was again a pleasure, though I was affected overmuch by the contents and fear there can be no happy end. I hope you won't think less of me for finding myself unable to maintain a professional aloofness - it is difficult to remember the author has been gone for millennia. Your treasure of a text is as captivating as ever, and I hang on your promise of a final installment._

_I remain yours always,_

_Taoiseach_

_Professora Mirabilia_

_University of Gwylim_

_Gwylim_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Taoiseach_ **

**_Professora Mirabilia_ **

**_University of Gwylim_ **

**_Gwylim_ **

 

_My sweet 'seach,_

_I hope this package finds you well, and not suffering overmuch from the cessation of your retreat's leisure. Hopefully this will help to return you to yourself. It is my pleasure to present to you the compilation of Arimatha's final intrapersonal notebooks, the last fruit of my efforts. I eagerly await your commentary on the views and perspectives they contain, as well as on the epithalamium as a whole._

_All my love,_

_Dinmenel_

_Intrepid Investigator_

_School of Thoughts and Calculations_

_Alinor_

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 967th degree of Kynrt (795th azimuth) and the 44th degree of Jhunal (2nd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at four thirds median and Magnus is 79% dilated. 1E206

Why, why, why, why; an infinity of inquiry is all I am, Unknown, all we ever were. Why is the emptiness of the Ever Method, the educational pseudonym that regresses inexorably to nothing. Why live, why heal, why endure, why investigate, why design,  _why reinvent the womb_  except that my body is too shattered now to fulfill the function and my pride deeper than bone. But these things too are subjective to why...

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 10th degree of Dbluh (791st azimuth) and the 777th degree of Kynrt (909th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at five fourths median and Magnus is 97% dilated. 1E 208

The procedure is complete. The womb is reinvented, for the sake of my sons; a cradle-sphere of nested sigil shells, circumradially modular and dynamically reflexive on a network of negative-feedback, galvanizing fetal awareness unto the supraconscious threshold of autogenetic maintenance, incidental defence, and meta-programmable interface. I have set the gestation period at three decades for the present; that will allow me to determine the state and location of their father and to ascertain whether the nature of his transformation, if transformed he is, could have any adverse consequences for them. I depart for the north on the morn, for the site of their grand endeavor is my only hypothesis - wherever that may be. My sons will be safe here, Unknown; their wombs are capable of protecting them from any threat. Even their father.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 326th degree of Rkhet (209th azimuth) and the 417th degree of Akhat (520th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at median and Magnus is 76% dilated. 1E218

Have located a potential site, Unknown. The obfuscation ocularies layered here are the most skilled I have ever seen, but the extent of the nexus' energy is too great to be completely obscured. It has drawn others, as well; there is a human magitechnician here siphoning excess energy. Luckily he has had contact with our people before and is eager to assist, insolong as I provide him with a dribble of petty tricks.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 101st degree of Mhara (643rd azimuth) and the 744th degree of Jhunal (622nd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at six sevenths median and Magnus is 80% dilated. 1E220

A messy fusion of sigils and sorcery has pierced the facility's shell. The mage I subdued and subjected to mnemnonic extirpation. He will remember nothing.

That's all of me for now, Unknown.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 189th degree of Mhara (458th azimuth) and the 295th degree of Rkhet (755th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at five quarters median and Magnus is 78% dilated. 1E220

Nothing, Unknown. That is what I found. That is what they accomplished there, in the collapsed crater of absence's impact; the most formidable subseries of nothing I have ever encountered. I must say no more than this, Unknown; I made vow to the Ortholog. He was unaware of any change in Urkhaz, but asserted that it could not have been caused by their... machinations. I parted on agreeable terms; I had neither time nor motivation to exploit the potential for sigil engineering they have unknowingly created.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 585th degree of Thendr (479th azimuth) and the 803rd degree of Jhunal (209th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seventeen fifteenths median and Magnus is 90% dilated. 1E221

The Pneumatect intercepted me on my return to Rkund, as I saw that he would. I would have drawn out his soul-sigils and continued immediately, for I was little given to contemplation of our Experiment after so long away from my sons, but he sought to linger with me. I had forgotten his youth, Unknown. Genius is no ward against the vacuum of shattered idols and schismed tranquility, and although arbitrary, consolation is occasionally necessary. Perhaps our time together was functionally beneficial for me, as well, quite beyond the word he brought of you. What is it you seek to prevent, Urkhaz? For what would you destroy yourself?

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 113th degree of Kynrt (394th azimuth) and the 664th degree of Akhat (36th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at eleven twelfths and Magnus is 86% dilated. 1E235

We never decided on children. As a unit, as a society, as individuals, we could never decide which sector of the benefit/detriment: necessity/malfunction matrix was most accurate. Urkhaz always said that he desired an heir to found a new era of family Bthundz, but I - Unknown, I never decided whether I was delighted or underwhelmed by the prospect of subsuming my own goals in the cutivation of another's (or rather, the seconding of all prior interests to interest in my issue). I never decided whether I was warmed or horrified by the thought of nurturing another being in my body; whether it  _was_ in truth nurturing, or whether it was closer to a parasitic invasion.

Now... now I still am not decided. I would sacrifice my entire career for the ability to bear and deliver my sons with my own body, to test myself in this functional capacity as it should have been, as I always considered it instead of this perversion of possibility in which my body is no longer the barrier but rather my children themselves bear the consequence of their father's transformation. I would give my career for this, my career that is nothing to me now in the detritus of my home, itself the shrapnel of our shattered society, for the opportunity to truly test what I never could decide, with my children healthy and whole, not these pathetic inversions of the very concept of fetus, my poor sons in the initiation of necrobiosis before even the first year of carnal gestation concluded. Urkhaz, Urkhaz, Urkhaz, what did you do to yourself, and why did you steal my chance to truly sacrifice myself?

I removed my sons from my metal wombs today, Unknown. I will not describe them to you, for if you are never to read this it matters little what I write, if you are someone I have still yet to meet you should not hear the first accounting of another mer's offspring, and if you are, somehow, Urkhaz, you do not deserve the Unknowing.

The isolation of these ruins is not socially optimal for my offspring, but there are too many dangers above. The humans drive east what few of us remain in the western holds. A small garrison maintains the library at Avanchnzel in secret, but all save the most negligible Clan- and Free-Holds have been destroyed or evacuated to Kherakah, Vvarenfell, and the other eastern delvings. Even FalZhardum Din has been emptied, save for those ossified by age. In truth it is not the Tongues I fear but our own society; Urkhaz should find it all too easy to locate us were we to interact with the remnants of civilization.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 481st degree of Jhunal (520th azimuth) and the 12th degree of Kynrt (365th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at nine sevenths median and Magnus is 100% dilated. 1E257

A journey to Avanchnzel is too much to risk, but the lack does rankle. The Tychepath's treatises on destiny and cosmological whimsy were never relevant to my interests before, but perhaps if I possessed them now I would understand whether this impossibility is attributable to some nasty little astronomical entity I could bind from the skies. Is it Aurbic irony, or cosmic punishment, this curdling of everything he was and could have been to me? I refused him marriage though I retained our modules of mutual expectation; now I am spurned and wed only to nothing. I refused him children, though I was amiable to the proposal; now I have all the children I ever prevented, but they are shattered, decrepit models, pale and sickly and feeble albeit strong of mind. Yes, I have children, Unknown. I have all the conception I ever prevented; I am pregnant again.

It should not be possible - but then, it should not have been possible with Bharekh and Akhenar, just as impossible as it was for all the rest of our lives. But no, for the bones of fate clatter their curdling laughter upon all our people in this unitary epoch. The function of fate inflects against us.

I have constructed a new womb, but to this one I have affixed a series of sigils to translate observation to rotation and deliver torque to the tertiary dynamo bank. It is criminal enough to rear two children at once under these circumstances; I will not rear three. I will transfer this fetus to the womb forthwith and she shall maintain herself there until I am able to heal and rear her. The seismic blast incapacitated all of the hold's power systems; she must learn early to make of herself what use she can. But what is happening to me, Unknown? How many will follow her? How many?

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 85th degree of Kynrt (964th azimuth) and the 1007th degree of Akhat (942nd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at twelve nineths median and MAgnus is 84% dilated. 1E 275

Automata power supplies have been restored to functionality and the animunculory is fully operational once more. I have begun excavation and repair of the hold's primary facilities; they progressed sufficiently far in my absence to merit a lexicon, which will be of great value to Bharekh and Akhenar if I can locate it.

The boys progress well. I have instilled in them inquisitive minds and a disinclination to accept answers. Bharekh has displayed an early interest and aptitude for atmospheric architecture and Akhenar for geological persuasion, but both are near physical non-functionality, suffering arthritic joints, atrophied musculature, and improper tendon extension. I found sufficient scraps of exoskeletal schematics from the old metallic dermatology fad to construct dynamic personalized therapy frames which at least allow them independent motion, but it is doubtful that they will ever walk without that assistance.

Three so far, Unknown.

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 176th degree of Akhat (205th azimuth) and the 654th degree of Jhunal (785th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at nine twelfths median and Magnus is 72% dilated. 1E276

**The Farce of Mundane Law**

Khurakhem Bharekh Kthumach

The imagination is an amazing thing. Within the mutable halls of the mind, anything is possible. One can live a million lives in one lifetime, pass a year in an hour, die and live at once, construct a life in the wilderness while dwelling in the city. One can build a phasing patchwork of mental realities in which water can burn, up can be down, two places can be held in one, and time can shatter. In short, with imagination one can create an existence in which there are no rules, and this plane's governing 'laws' of reality are as mist in the air. But have they ever been more than that? Why should it be that this plane's laws are unbreakable, when within our own minds we snap them with ease? The truth is that these laws can be broken, just as the laws of any game can be broken. The truth is that this plane, and the rules that create and govern it, are made of nothing.

Think of the rules of our existence; space, time, attraction. These are the laws of our existence as we know them, but in truth they are much more complex than this, and much simpler. These rules do not operate on a scale that we can observe; they delve far deeper than we commonly strain our minds to plumb. Their jurisdiction reigns on the level of principal perceptions; that is, on the level of perception that can truly be split no smaller. It is these principal particles, these building blocks of reality, that are governed by the mandates of the universe; nothing more complex. The world that we know is created through the increasingly intricate interaction of these perceptions. The never ceasing dance and duel of principal perceptions, as dictated by the essence of existence, is of such complexity to shatter the mortal mind.

But where is it that these intensely convoluted rules of non-existence originated? There are three possible answers. One, this plane generated itself spontaneously. Two, this plane possesses eternal existence, with no beginning or end to its time or space. And third, some form of deity or deities created this and its laws. Of these, the only one that has any form of sustained idealogical support is that of divine creation. There is simply too much corroboration of the myth of Aurbis, from every culture we have encountered, for there not to be some manifestation of truth to the matter.

But if deities created our time and space, that implies that those deities existed prior to time and space. But if there was a 'before' to time and space, what would it entail? What could it entail? What would you produce if you stripped this plane of the natural laws that make up its non-existence, if you took away rules? The absence of rules? A lack of prohibition. And if nothing is forbidden, if there are no rules to follow, then anything is possible. Anything, absolutely anything can be done. One can be in two places at once, for there is no space. One can spend eternity and not grow old, for there is no time. One can stop the rotation of reality with an ear, raise the dead with a wrench, anything at all, for there are no rules!

And if one exists 'within' a void of rules, as the deities who created our universe obviously did, where one could do anything, then would it not be within one's unlimited power to create rules? To implement time and space, to create principal perceptions? It is exactly how our universe was created; not through logic, but through illogic. But these deities, these masters of illogic, would yet be unbound by the rules it created, as would any other beings who existed prior to the universe. And the only differences such beings would have from ourselves is that they know that the rules are of nothing, whereas we take for granted the inscrutability of mundane laws. Thus, the rules of the universe are not the unbreakable bonds we have thought for so long. In fact, they are made of nothing more than a decision. They are made of nothing at all, and yet they still exist. Paradox, but there are, in truth, no rules to forbid it. This plane's rules bind us only because we, too, are made of nothing, made of rules, and due to their own interactive complexity do not implicitly understand these rules. Remember, though, that these are not truly rules at all. They are nothing! All it takes to be free from them is to know and truly believe their falsity. At that point, one will have slain impossibility.

It seems absurd to question the rules of reality, mere common sense that they should be unbreakable. Yet, think to yourself of a time when you felt an odd grinding, awesome slowness, as though the entire universe paused, and past and present seemed to flow together. Think of a treasured memory and notice how tantalizingly near at hand it seems, as though it occurs even as you remember it. Think about your surroundings, your body, and realize how supremely odd it is that you should exist. That you should be there in flesh and blood and bone, the air a comfortable weight on your body, a warm pounding regularity in your chest, and all this an inexplicable fact bearing the frustrating confounding perplexity of the question that has no answer. Think. Think, and ponder whether those are tricks of your mind, or instead its unconscious observations. In your power to believe and realize, you hold the key to reality. You live in a lock made of nothing. The only thing left is to turn the key.

**Sigil Engineering: Alternative Architecture**

Khurakhem Akhenar Kthumach

Traditionally relegated to materials processing and psychomechanical design, overlooked for more fundamental null endeavors in favor of its inversion, tonal architecture, sigil engineering is a plane of possibility almost entirely untapped. Far from limiting itself to high-order misperceptions and functions of mundane maintenance, the plane provides a path to the fundament of misunderstanding. Consequently, its capacity for the manipulation of null definitions is at least equal to that of tonal architecture.

Sigil engineering functions on the principle of fundamental symbolism. All of nonexistence is rooted in self-delusion and the attribution of individual perception to collective imagination; sigil engineering reinvokes elements of mythical and metaphysical events, thereby redefining reality on the auspices of fundamental memory in predictable, reliable patterns. In an absolute sense, it requires no energy input aside from the assembly of the sigil form itself, and traditionally does not involve aetherial enchantment of any kind. Early (although they persist even now) methods did involve aetherial accumulation, but this was only a technique of supraconscious induction; the magicka was only contained, not consumed. Sigilic effects are entirely dependent upon observational capacity, or consciousness; it is the observer that witnesses the sigil's inert form and responds in mythomechanical redefinition of their subjective unreality. Aetherial accumulation was a primitive technique for inducing consciousness past a sigil's observational threshold (creatia-impact epiphany).

The problem of supraconsciousness was solved more elegantly in [date] by Khurakhem Arimatha Kthumach with the development of hypnopompic sigils. These sigils are designed to contain elements fundamental and observable to all subseries of nonexistence. Incremental observation of these fundamental elements results in progressional induction of higher consciousness in previously primarily unconscious subseries and, thus, the allowance of observation of ever-higher order sigil forms. In this way, any subseries, animate or inanimate, conscious or unconscious, sentient-sapient or no, can be elevated to a threshold of supraconsciousness limited only by the objective quantity of unreality in observation. This process is without energy input beyond the construction of the sigil itself, and is, in essence, controlled conventional acausality.

This combination of incompatibility (limbs of definition inciting referential uncertainty for the redefinition of reality) is a direct inversion of that of tonal architecture (rib-waves of uncertainty definitionally generated for the reprogramming of possibility), although they are essentially the same class of incompatibility (consciousness and unconsciousness of absence). They are chiral disciplines - explained most simply, perhaps, as analogous to the mantra and yantra of the Falmeri Heresiarchs - but, perhaps due to early ease of study (tone-tower's proximity), tonal architecture has always dominated our society. Yes, all of our delvings have been guided by psychomechanical sigils and yes, the hope-scarab proliferates upon our architecture, but the tonal has always been the ambitious mer's approach, sigils, ironically, that of the easily satisfied.

* * *

 

Such are my sons, Unknown, complementary and contrasting; Bharekh ever colourful but errant in detail, Akhenar accurate and deep-sighted but authorially uncreative. Bharekh reaches the correct conclusions, but through fallacious reasoning; he is an intuitionist, and inclined to reverse-engineer the derivation of his stances. Akhenar is impeccably thorough, but often less effective than his brother due to the progressional nature of his insights and his limited linguistic palette. They will serve each other well in the world - and they will see the world, Unknown. They must.

Seven.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 850th degree of Mhara (46th azimuth) and the 577th degree of Kynrt (753rd azimuth). Nirn is rotating at seven fifths median and Magnus is 84% dilated. 1E332

The automata reached the city's deep cistern today. It is the only truly structurally sound facility remaining, primarily due to its depth. My sons become ever more suspicious of the dynamo bank facade concealing their siblings; I must move them soon. This will suffice for a power and storage facility; I shall call it Vogram, the port of all your unknown conception.

16.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 148th degree of Kynrt (384th azimuth) and the 676th degree of Thendr (481st azimuth). Nirn is rotating at four thirds median and Magnus is 89% dilated. 1E338

My sons embarked today, Unknown. Urthemz Ngarkur Bthangmund, my first suitor, adopted them into his family at Avanchnzel. He married a hydrodynamicist, the poor mer. I refused refuge for myself; I have duties here in the home-hold. Ngarkur inquired as to the effects of solitude upon my functionality, but of course I am no more alone here than he is there, with his perfect family. But I did not force him to face the emptiness of his consolation; it serves its purpose.

33.

Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

To the Unknown from the 310th degree of Akhat (256th azimuth) and the 99th degree of Rkhet (10th azimuth). Nirn is rotating at median and Magnus is 100% dilated. 1E654

I thought I was allowing them to awaken. I didn't understand. I didn't understand. My sons understood, but I did not, blinded on your corruption of even emptiness, Urkhaz, Urkhaz, Ukhaz Unknown, Unknown Urkhaz, and does it even matter now, has it ever mattered to whom I write, Unknown, Unknown do you encompass all? Ah, Bharekh, you employed so many effective fallacies in your work, but you had the essence of the idea, for although you did not realize it, extension of the process unto any further fundamental causation is mere arbitration of complexity, when emptiness is ever-present and internally accessible. All progression along the regression of why concludes, be it at 1, 2, 8, 9, 16, 24, I, we, Ever Method, God, or Godhead, in the arbitrary access of anutpada, or absence. Every Absolute is an effigy of emptiness, for all share inherent inexplicability, which is absence of cause itself, not merely inaccessibility. God answers all inquiry with I; beyond is nothing. Arbitrate any absolute; beyond them all is nothing. Thus is emptiness the only objective truth of nonexistence; all causation is acausal. Thus is nothing the only necessity. Thus is all existence the presence of absence.

But how, why, you would say Bharekh were you not dead on a Chimeri spear, how then this nonexistence? How does absence become present? Understand that we are not nodes of rules but nodes of nothing, and that our nonexistence is not certainly necessary. Necessary nothing is without definition, without self-reference. But although it is utterly unconscious of its own emptiness, it possesses an intrinsic capacity for consciousness, for observation is merely the emptiness of self. And when nothing becomes conscious of its own absence, when emptiness observes its own observation, then is nonexistence divided, then is void invaginated, then is absence made present. This is the origin of all types of zero; additive identities of twinned serial Not, produce of null division and differentially conscious of absence. See us for what we are not, Unknown; voids viewing voids on edge, subseries of zero functionally segregated by shared reference into streams of incomprehensible cognizance. See yourself for what you are not, Unknown; nested consciousness and unconsciousness of absence and fundamentally inexplicable. We are real in direct proportion to the extent of our acknowledgement of absence; that is our great irony. Nonexistence is dissatisfaction. There is only nothing to know.

Likewise, you understood my craft and its relation to the Pneumatect's architecture more fully than I, Akhenar. You would have understood what I created from your siblings, had you seen your 437 siblings spinning in their metal wombs, pale and blue-veined and spindly, eyed like stars drowned beneath the surface of Vogram's amniotic lake, forever fetal, as your brother would have understood my transgression in releasing you, if consciousness was my intent. For you were correct in saying that sigil engineering is the inversion of tonal architecture, though I did not see it; the metal wombs of Vogram are the mirror-twins of incompatibility to all our ancient animunculi. Where animunculic automata combine the conscious and unconscious through the interaction of subseries approximating sole self-reference, the edged walls of my wombs elevate the awareness of my children beyond all the Aurbis; enumeration of amnesia versus invagination of cognizance; past-death versus pre-birth, hypnagogic versus hypnopompia.

So follow that through, you would say were you not a sacrifice of skin, and show me what would be the triumph of the sigillic automation you have constructed; what would be the inversion of the Pneumatect's plans? To which the answer is simple: the imprisonment of the Ortholog's issue in exoclinic hypnopompic sigil shell for the awakening of all Mundus, Aurbis, all aspects of nonexistence to eternally-internally unfolding awareness of absence. But this I will not do, Unknown, for the Pneumatect has preceded me and nearly completed his plans; only my mantle of disidentity protects me from unconsciousness. But for more than professional respect I refrain; I refrain for I am unresigned to the consolation of dissatisfaction. If dissatisfaction may be absolutely removed then it should be; if the Pneumatect can render us permanently unconscious to absence then I will allow him to do so. But I am not certain that the presence of absence is not necessary, and therefore I devise my experiment.

The Pneumatect said that you sought to prevent something, Urkhaz. He said it was one of the things he saw; that you would attempt to prevent something, and would destroy yourself in the doing. Was it this? Was it me, Urkhaz? How ironic, if it was, for I should never have come to this without the children you forced upon me. Did you become someone else to prevent the realization of my experiment? Who did you become? Who did you become, Urkhaz? Who am I writing to?

I will never know the answer to that. I write to the Unknown. It is you, Unknown, who will execute my experiment. I shall follow the pneumatect into the unconsciousness of absence. I shall allow the streams of my cognizance to short on the nipping twist of nonexistence, but the bones of my identity lie at Vogram's gates, puzzle-bound and inert and hypnopompic. The Unknown shall observe them, and if the presence of absence is fundamentally necessary I shall be renewed in consciousness. If it is not, my dissatisfaction will remain unconscious. My people have subsumed themselves to hypnagogia, Unknown, but my children, my whirling fetuses in their metal wombs, submerged in Vogram's amniotic lake, they are programmed to turn their awarenesses toward subsconsciousness observational of Aurbis and to spin their hypnopompia unto awareness of our identity. They will seed your subconscious with sigils. And if the observation of emptiness is unavoidable, if the presence of absence is an unavoidable consolation, our conceptual resurrection will be realized in your reading of The Elder Scrolls.

That's all of me, Unknown.

Khurakhem Arimatha Kthumach

* * *

 

**_Dinmenel_ **

**_Intrepid Investigator_ **

**_School of Thoughts and Calculations_ **

**_Alinor_ **

 

_My Dearest Din,_

_How can I ever repay you? I remember it was not long after we first met that I expressed my frustration that no personal account of the Dwemer perspective existed, a conversation which sprang to mind many months later when I received your first translations. So closely did they match my desire, I admit I was forced to consider whether they were forgeries...but surely no amount of genius could invent such a tale._

_One thing is for certain, the Rkund excavation must resume immediately. I can put together a small, provisioned team to assist your own and I'll wager we can convince other institutions to do the same. The College perhaps. It will be vital to acquire a fair force of armed guards if the area is as infested as you indicated in your previous letters._

_I admit I do not know what to expect when the ruin is unsealed, for I do not fully comprehend the intricacies of what exactly is preserved within that artificial womb – where, precisely, is the difference between Aurbical awareness and total introspection when both subjects are composed of nothing? Your final installment noted a hitherto unmarked distinction between tonal architecture and the sigil sciences, which I believe indicated the former as uncertainty given definition, and the latter as definition given uncertainty. Your thoughts or elaborations on the matter would be most welcome for the finer points of Dwemer science are lost on a linguist like myself._

_It has long been known that it was the Dwemeri understanding of the fundamental unreality of the Aurbis that fueled their advancements. Our author's innovation being - correct me if I am mistaken – in the inducement of consciousness at any level of subgradience by bringing it to the awareness of absence. The Dwemer might perhaps reverse our well-known phrase – "I am not, therefore I think." I was surprised to see her abandon what she valued, but again I was not, for she had suffered._

_Oh Arimatha, is there really only nothing to know? Must a lack of certainty indicate a vacuum? Meaninglessness? Everything in me rails against it, for I have pursued mysteries spun of nothing, riddles that were not true puzzles, anticipation without climax, and felt only the insult of empty promises. I came to recognize the hollowness of artifice, and you are not hollow. Your mystery is not without substance. You are not nothing to me._

_There is nothing to understand? But what is a world where we do not try to understand each other? You did not believe this I think, though you professed it - for you presented a portion of yourself to be understood, though comprehended only imperfectly (for we are privileged only to a small sliver of your thoughts and feelings, candid though they may be). Still, it was a privilege. A privilege to share a closeness across time and space, even one of which you will never be aware. A privilege to feel a sympathetic echo of your dissatisfaction in my own chest. A privilege to love you. And I think that though the two banks of a river might never touch, still a bridge could be built to link them: though we might find things transformed as they cross from one side to another, still there can be exchange and a comfort of nearness._

_But that was not what you wanted I suspect. It is not solitude that troubles you._

_Not loneliness and not aimlessness either, but some inexplicable and causeless absence of satisfaction. Want runs tangential to this "Ever Method"; the two hardly touch. I cannot decide – is it the homesick longing for what was once had and perhaps forgotten? Or an anticipation of something which isn't yet, but may one day come to pass? But that is love, which is a pursuit. And that is why I am coming for you, Arimatha. I pack for cold weather._

_Ah me. Dinmenel, forgive my…hmm…humanity. It is inappropriate in professional correspondence, though I do not always think of you professionally. Thank you again so very much for your transcriptions – I cannot imagine the effort it must have taken to translate them. I remain, as always, ever yours._

_Love,_

_Taoiseach_

_Professora Mirabilia_

_University of Gwylim_

_Gwylim_


End file.
